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Is the Catalyst Learning ...
Forum: Surviving School
Last Post: lrlgaming416
09-11-2020, 01:17 AM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 21
Forum: General
Last Post: StainTheRain
09-06-2020, 04:31 PM
» Replies: 3
» Views: 66
What pisses you off the m...
Forum: Surviving School
Last Post: Zuchara
09-06-2020, 03:36 PM
» Replies: 11
» Views: 1,293
I feel shitty being aroun...
Forum: Emotional Support
Last Post: GodisGood
08-23-2020, 03:04 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 135
Confessions of a Former B...
Forum: Mental Health, Trauma, Anti-psychiatry, etc
Last Post: SoulRiser
07-12-2020, 02:13 AM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 96
How to decide on going to...
Forum: Surviving School
Last Post: SoulRiser
06-23-2020, 04:02 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 194
How I feel about grades
Forum: Surviving School
Last Post: hateschoolmorethananyone
06-18-2020, 07:17 PM
» Replies: 4
» Views: 603
Protesters took over an a...
Forum: General
Last Post: SoulRiser
06-12-2020, 02:14 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 182
My challenge to teachers/...
Forum: Surviving School
Last Post: SoulRiser
06-02-2020, 03:05 AM
» Replies: 3
» Views: 433
Bad habits you learned at...
Forum: Surviving School
Last Post: yhl3051
05-22-2020, 01:38 PM
» Replies: 5
» Views: 711

  Is the Catalyst Learning Network still a thing?
Posted by: lrlgaming416 - 09-11-2020, 01:17 AM - Forum: Surviving School - No Replies

I learned about it from school survival and was interested in it, sadly the email does not work to contact them. Is this still a thing?

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Posted by: StainTheRain - 08-31-2020, 11:51 AM - Forum: General - Replies (3)

Hey everyone!

I was just on the School Survival site and saw that SoulRise has a new forum so I decided to join Smile

I'm a 23 year old female who's currently doing a postgraduate study in the UK but due to the pandemic I (we are all) am forced to stay home and do everything online. I didn't have much chance to make friends in the UK because of the lockdown. During the lockdown I got really depressed because of the loneliness, not having many friends, living in a small town, not having people to talk to and many other reasons. There are a small community of people from the same country (I'm actually from Indonesia) that live in the same town but I don't really get along with them, they're nice but sometimes they are positively toxic.... is that a word? lol. 

Anyway now that I've come back to Indonesia and will be back in the UK after a month. I've been feeling better because I have my family and friends here, well I just needed someone to talk to in real life, to have real conversation with them. 

Nice to meet you all Smile

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  I feel shitty being around my parents
Posted by: Thatonedude - 07-14-2020, 05:06 PM - Forum: Emotional Support - Replies (2)

It’s just kind of weird because I wanna spend time with him but I have it at the same time he’s been physically abusive our whole likes and also it emotionally with my mom when I told them I was suicidal they basically screamed at me to think about everyone else but me and my dad said I didn’t have the balls to kill myself anyway which made me so stressed out and angry I almost did they said I broke their trust even though I told them instead of going through with it I honestly didn’t understand and still don’t he threatens us and says hes not afraid to hit us with his bare fist because we’re older now and has before it’s scares me I fear that pain that he’s put me through but I’m so stupid I can’t tell CPS because the rest of my family sees them as perfect and would probably hate me I told my grandpa and he said at least he’s not an alcoholic like wtf he didn’t even try to help me like idk why. Idk really know what to say here so bye I guess thanks to all that respond

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  Confessions of a Former Bastard Cop
Posted by: SoulRiser - 07-12-2020, 02:13 AM - Forum: Mental Health, Trauma, Anti-psychiatry, etc - No Replies

Quote:I was a police officer for nearly ten years and I was a bastard. We all were.

This essay has been kicking around in my head for years now and I’ve never felt confident enough to write it. It’s a time in my life I’m ashamed of. It’s a time that I hurt people and, through inaction, allowed others to be hurt. It’s a time that I acted as a violent agent of capitalism and white supremacy. Under the guise of public safety, I personally ruined people’s lives but in so doing, made the public no safer… so did the family members and close friends of mine who also bore the badge alongside me.

But enough is enough.

The reforms aren’t working. Incrementalism isn’t happening. Unarmed Black, indigenous, and people of color are being killed by cops in the streets and the police are savagely attacking the people protesting these murders.

American policing is a thick blue tumor strangling the life from our communities and if you don’t believe it when the poor and the marginalized say it, if you don’t believe it when you see cops across the country shooting journalists with less-lethal bullets and caustic chemicals, maybe you’ll believe it when you hear it straight from the pig’s mouth.


As someone who went through the training, hiring, and socialization of a career in law enforcement, I wanted to give a first-hand account of why I believe police officers are the way they are. Not to excuse their behavior, but to explain it and to indict the structures that perpetuate it.

I believe that if everyone understood how we’re trained and brought up in the profession, it would inform the demands our communities should be making of a new way of community safety. If I tell you how we were made, I hope it will empower you to unmake us.

One of the other reasons I’ve struggled to write this essay is that I don’t want to center the conversation on myself and my big salty boo-hoo feelings about my bad choices. It’s a toxic white impulse to see atrocities and think “How can I make this about me?” So, I hope you’ll take me at my word that this account isn’t meant to highlight me, but rather the hundred thousand of me in every city in the country. It’s about the structure that made me (that I chose to pollute myself with) and it’s my meager contribution to the cause of radical justice.


I was a police officer in a major metropolitan area in California with a predominantly poor, non-white population (with a large proportion of first-generation immigrants). One night during briefing, our watch commander told us that the city council had requested a new zero tolerance policy. Against murderers, drug dealers, or child predators?

No, against homeless people collecting cans from recycling bins.

See, the city had some kickback deal with the waste management company where waste management got paid by the government for our expected tonnage of recycling. When homeless people “stole” that recycling from the waste management company, they were putting that cheaper contract in peril. So, we were to arrest as many recyclers as we could find.

Even for me, this was a stupid policy and I promptly blew Sarge off. But a few hours later, Sarge called me over to assist him. He was detaining a 70 year old immigrant who spoke no English, who he’d seen picking a coke can out of a trash bin. He ordered me to arrest her for stealing trash. I said, “Sarge, c’mon, she’s an old lady.” He said, “I don’t give a shit. Hook her up, that’s an order.” And… I did. She cried the entire way to the station and all through the booking process. I couldn’t even comfort her because I didn’t speak Spanish. I felt disgusting but I was ordered to make this arrest and I wasn’t willing to lose my job for her.

If you’re tempted to feel sympathy for me, don’t. I used to happily hassle the homeless under other circumstances. I researched obscure penal codes so I could arrest people in homeless encampments for lesser known crimes like “remaining too close to railroad property” (369i of the California Penal Code). I used to call it “planting warrant seeds” since I knew they wouldn’t make their court dates and we could arrest them again and again for warrant violations.

We used to have informal contests for who could cite or arrest someone for the weirdest law. DUI on a bicycle, non-regulation number of brooms on your tow truck (27700(a)(1) of the California Vehicle Code)… shit like that. For me, police work was a logic puzzle for arresting people, regardless of their actual threat to the community. As ashamed as I am to admit it, it needs to be said: stripping people of their freedom felt like a game to me for many years.

I know what you’re going to ask: did I ever plant drugs? Did I ever plant a gun on someone? Did I ever make a false arrest or file a false report? Believe it or not, the answer is no. Cheating was no fun, I liked to get my stats the “legitimate” way. But I knew officers who kept a little baggie of whatever or maybe a pocket knife that was a little too big in their war bags (yeah, we called our dufflebags “war bags”…). Did I ever tell anybody about it? No I did not. Did I ever confess my suspicions when cocaine suddenly showed up in a gang member’s jacket? No I did not.

In fact, let me tell you about an extremely formative experience: in my police academy class, we had a clique of around six trainees who routinely bullied and harassed other students: intentionally scuffing another trainee’s shoes to get them in trouble during inspection, sexually harassing female trainees, cracking racist jokes, and so on. Every quarter, we were to write anonymous evaluations of our squadmates. I wrote scathing accounts of their behavior, thinking I was helping keep bad apples out of law enforcement and believing I would be protected. Instead, the academy staff read my complaints to them out loud and outed me to them and never punished them, causing me to get harassed for the rest of my academy class. That’s how I learned that even police leadership hates rats. That’s why no one is “changing things from the inside.” They can’t, the structure won’t allow it.

And that’s the point of what I’m telling you. Whether you were my sergeant, legally harassing an old woman, me, legally harassing our residents, my fellow trainees bullying the rest of us, or “the bad apples” illegally harassing “shitbags”, we were all in it together. I knew cops that pulled women over to flirt with them. I knew cops who would pepper spray sleeping bags so that homeless people would have to throw them away. I knew cops that intentionally provoked anger in suspects so they could claim they were assaulted. I was particularly good at winding people up verbally until they lashed out so I could fight them. Nobody spoke out. Nobody stood up. Nobody betrayed the code.

None of us protected the people (you) from bad cops.

This is why “All cops are bastards.” Even your uncle, even your cousin, even your mom, even your brother, even your best friend, even your spouse, even me. Because even if they wouldn’t Do The Thing themselves, they will almost never rat out another officer who Does The Thing, much less stop it from happening.

More/Source: https://medium.com/@OfcrACab/confessions...14d17bc759

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  How to decide on going to school or not going to school
Posted by: hateschoolmorethananyone - 06-18-2020, 07:28 PM - Forum: Surviving School - Replies (1)

For the people who had mixed feelings about attending college, I think many could have been talked out of it.  I wish someone could have saved me.  This external thread shows that teachers are compromised with what they can tell their students:


Can you believe the responses that were voted up in the question above?  Isn't it outrageous?

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  Protesters took over an area in Seattle and it's now a self-governed community
Posted by: SoulRiser - 06-12-2020, 02:14 PM - Forum: General - No Replies

I think this is fascinating, and I'm curious to see what happens next. I love the concept of self-governed communities.

Is it perfect? Hell no! It's a bunch of flawed humans trying to do something different in response to the insane shit that happened there recently. That's precisely the point: it's something different. Something different is certainly necessary over there.

More info on their websites:



They have a subreddit too:


An interview with the person who started the farms in Chaz: https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2020/06...le-gardens

It seems that a group on 4chan has been spreading all sorts of false news about this place, so if you've heard some bad stuff, it might have come from there. Check their FAQ to see what the people in the actual community have to say about it. The subreddit also has residents there posting, so that's a good place to look as well.

Some interesting quotes:

Quote:I live in an apartment within Chaz. What a crazy past few days. Just want it to clarify a few things..
  • No one has come knocking on my door
  • No one has threatened me or demanded money in exchange for protection
  • Everyone i've met has been amazing
  • There are no armed guards protecting the area
  • I've never seen this area more alive. I can't put it to words. There's just an amazing vibe around the entire area.
  • There is no cow
  • I've never felt more safe in the area
  • Everyone is getting along
I'm renewing my lease next month and I hope to be a resident of Chaz for a long time.

Quote:I think we’ve been legit in a bubble. I’ve been fielding questions and concerns from people downtown, in First hill, and in CD asking about organisation, goals, armed patrols, and creating sustainable ag in Cal Anderson park. Like...It’s legit just a public space without cops where people come together to listen to one another and where people still go about their daily lives lol.

Quote:A lot of people seem to be ridiculing it based on assumptions and expectations they made up themselves. I live on the other side of Washington but it's pretty obvious they're not trying to "secede and start a new country". It's not supposed to be sealed off and independent from the rest of Seattle, you can walk in and out freely as far as I can tell. It's not supposed to be the start of a revolution. The only people I've heard claiming any of that are the people that are criticizing it. Raz seems to be narcissistic and violent but other than that one person everyone involved seems to be having fun and chilling. That's it. Just chilling without police or traffic. Free food and entertainment and a place to organize. Why are people making it out to be something way bigger/more extreme than it really is? I don't think anyone expects anything out of it, much less for it to last very long, but it's a cool experiment and a middle finger to the government which I think a lot of people are feeling right now

Edit: very weird how this post was untouched for almost an hour until 5:00am on the dot I got 4 comments disagreeing, and entirely missing my point, in less than 5 minutes. Did y'all start your shift on the brigade patrol?

I'll occasionally update this post as I find more interesting information.

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Wink My challenge to teachers/students that believe in the system
Posted by: yhl3051 - 05-31-2020, 08:31 PM - Forum: Surviving School - Replies (3)

In the United States, many teachers claim that their students are not working hard enough, and pressure them to work harder.  Additionally, they often like to talk about how students in Europe and Asia are generally more dedicated than American students.

The biggest reason though might not be discipline, but quality of food.  Although schools in other countries are harder than American schools, at least the schools provide high quality food to its students.  As a result, productivity is high, and crime is low.  One example is Japan: https://www.businessinsider.com/japans-a...ram-2017-3.  Another example is France: https://qz.com/515148/a-typical-week-of-...-new-york/

Many Americans don't take quality food seriously, and as a result, believe that students that struggle "don't matter" and should vanish into the mist.  Will teachers understand that nutrition matters far more than was originally assumed, and that this is, in fact, a national crisis?  That is my challenge.

Finally, I do understand that their school systems have unique problems of their own, and that there are good teachers that support this.

Additional suggestions:

* Vegetables are tasty - When they are steamed, stir-fried, or fermented.
* Fruits are tasty - When they are cooked (like apple pie) or dried
* Stick primarily to gluten-free foods like corn, potatoes, and rice, as they are the most nutritious by default.
* Only eat wheat products that are made with sourdough or Italian semolina flour, since they are the healthiest kinds of wheat products.
* Kombucha is rich in probiotics, and has a very fizzy taste

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  A ranty thing about school shootings and trauma
Posted by: SoulRiser - 05-21-2020, 06:38 PM - Forum: Surviving School - Replies (1)

I was listening to a podcast thingy, and a caller came in and talked about some person's response to a school shooting, that he'd seen online somewhere.

This is my response I rambled into my journal:

"some suggestions about how to help children with difficult feelings"
lol what
how about
stop fucking traumatizing them in the first place
don't put them through hell
that's like torturing someone while telling them how to manage their feelings
what the fuck
and the guide was aimed at parents
a suggestion was to shake together
no don't you fucking dare grab me and shake me against my will
what the fuck

that's all fine and dandy but completely misses the point of HOW MUCH INTENSE HELL some kids go through to get to that point
some shaking and 'feeling management' doesn't even remotely address the problem
stop fucking hurting them
sure, by all means, tell kids how to deal with shit, but MORE IMPORTANTLY
tell fucking stupid asshole adults to stop traumatizing them
and putting them in ridiculously insane environments

how are people so oblivious
school shootings happen
therefore "some kids have a hard time dealing with difficult feelings"
what the fuck no
what it fucking means is that SCHOOL IS HELL
how is that NOT OBVIOUS?!

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  "It's just puberty" as an easy excuse
Posted by: Zuchara - 05-10-2020, 02:02 PM - Forum: Surviving School - Replies (1)

"Ok kids now you have to be under our control 24/7 and follow every our order because you cannot be trusted to make your own decisions. Freedom is very destructive for you. There is only one way of getting mature  ̶  in jail under strict control. And remember: it's for your own good".
"Fuck you!"
"Oh no, how dare they say "fuck you" to us?! That's why we need more control 'cause these kids are really naughty! More violence will definitely be beneficial".

It's weird that students know better about schools than parents, teachers, ministers of education  ̶  adults in general ̶  yet we are never taken seriously and always ignored. We say "we can't learn this way, we feel sick and depressed, your expectations are just insane! Stop doing it to us!". Don't adults hear it? They probably do but do nothing  ̶  they have a magical diagnosis "puberty" which explains fucking everything from physical pain (yeah that's definitely just my body so painfully developing and not the result of endless seatwork) to even suicide (!). One smartass journalist said it's natural for a teen to feel suicidal. I wonder if he said this to devastated parents who lost their child. Would he say "it's just natural for teens to die like acne or changing mood" to a mother in sorrow? It seems like they wanna evade responsibility and then manipulate the students however they want.

Outrageous how your feelings are devaluated because of your age like "you're currently inadequate so we won't take you seriously". Feeling like shit? Hormones, will stop soon. Bullies? Kids are naturally cruel, more control will fix it. Angry about school? Y'all just want to hang out and not learn, ofcs learning is hard and unpleasant thing, school is not a damn circus to be entertaining! Teens complain because they are teens, there is no our responsibility whatsoever. The saddest thing is that it's not some narrow-minded parent's opinion, it keeps the system alive because if students were treated like adults they wouldn't take such humiliation they experience anymore.

At the same time adults love to sigh for "beautiful youth" and philosophically say something like "you should be so lucky to be young, school is your best years that's why you should appreciate it". This one actually sounds like a mockery. Very reassuring considering what kind of shit this youth brings. We don't take this as an advice to be more positive but as a warning that things are going to be even worse. I think I'm going nuts cause everyone who talks about school in a positive way makes me furious. Then I think "why is he ok and I'm not? There must be something wrong with me...".

Oh, that's not all! They want us to be responsible like adults. The thing is, that their "responsible" means "someone who knows what he is supposed to do and doesn't ask stupid questions". But in normal world you take responsibility for your choices. Question: how tf are we supposed to be responsible without any decisions to make? Back in the past teenagers could take care after themselves and actually work, no stuff like transitional age existed. But now we have a bunch of angry "adolescents" who don't do shit. The society claims you have to be schooled until 23  ̶   no choices, no responsibility.

I could talk hours about that but I have to write another scholastic crap which I was supposed to hand in a week ago. I'm sick of smart words without meaning, these abstract discursions, such a waste of time. I don't think learning has to to be fun or easy  ̶  I just want it to make sense. I tried writing a book last summer, and it was hard yet enjoyable. People whose love for learning was killed in early age won't understand, just go on saying that learning is always "violence to yourself". That's what my mum says... she's a teacher.

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  Something for when you feel like shit...
Posted by: SoulRiser - 04-30-2020, 11:13 PM - Forum: Mental Health, Trauma, Anti-psychiatry, etc - No Replies


This is really cool. It's like a step by step interactive 'game' that guides you through things to try doing to help you feel less like shit.

Especially helpful for people who have trouble feeling their bodily functions, or who have executive dysfunction troubles.

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