I feel shitty being around my parents

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#1
It’s just kind of weird because I wanna spend time with him but I have it at the same time he’s been physically abusive our whole likes and also it emotionally with my mom when I told them I was suicidal they basically screamed at me to think about everyone else but me and my dad said I didn’t have the balls to kill myself anyway which made me so stressed out and angry I almost did they said I broke their trust even though I told them instead of going through with it I honestly didn’t understand and still don’t he threatens us and says hes not afraid to hit us with his bare fist because we’re older now and has before it’s scares me I fear that pain that he’s put me through but I’m so stupid I can’t tell CPS because the rest of my family sees them as perfect and would probably hate me I told my grandpa and he said at least he’s not an alcoholic like wtf he didn’t even try to help me like idk why. Idk really know what to say here so bye I guess thanks to all that respond
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#1
It’s just kind of weird because I wanna spend time with him but I have it at the same time he’s been physically abusive our whole likes and also it emotionally with my mom when I told them I was suicidal they basically screamed at me to think about everyone else but me and my dad said I didn’t have the balls to kill myself anyway which made me so stressed out and angry I almost did they said I broke their trust even though I told them instead of going through with it I honestly didn’t understand and still don’t he threatens us and says hes not afraid to hit us with his bare fist because we’re older now and has before it’s scares me I fear that pain that he’s put me through but I’m so stupid I can’t tell CPS because the rest of my family sees them as perfect and would probably hate me I told my grandpa and he said at least he’s not an alcoholic like wtf he didn’t even try to help me like idk why. Idk really know what to say here so bye I guess thanks to all that respond
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#2
hugs

It makes sense to feel shitty being around them, while also still wanting to be around them - kids are wired to want to be around their parents. But when the parents are abusive it messes everything up.

Also it makes sense that your grandpa wouldn't be helpful because your parent's parents probably abused them when they were kids too, and that's why they're doing it to you now. It's a horrible cycle of trauma.

Also, you're not stupid. Your fear is very valid.

It'd probably be better for your mental health to spend as little time with them as possible though.
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#2
hugs

It makes sense to feel shitty being around them, while also still wanting to be around them - kids are wired to want to be around their parents. But when the parents are abusive it messes everything up.

Also it makes sense that your grandpa wouldn't be helpful because your parent's parents probably abused them when they were kids too, and that's why they're doing it to you now. It's a horrible cycle of trauma.

Also, you're not stupid. Your fear is very valid.

It'd probably be better for your mental health to spend as little time with them as possible though.
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